“I HATE Army Wives…”, She Said

24 Oct

We just moved into housing on Fort Knox, when my neighbor crossed the street headed in my direction.  “Welcome to the neighborhood”, she said with a smile.  I graciously received her warm welcome.  Her greeting lost all steam when she added…”I HATE Army Wives, so please tell me you aren’t one of those types.”   I’m not sure what my response was, but I have no doubt my face reflected my shock!  There was more talk…  I seem to recall some negative comments regarding FRGs (Family Readiness Groups) and wives who wear their husband’s rank, but at this point, I must have been looking at her like she had two heads.   

Oddly enough, my neighbor and I became quick friends.  I worked hard to prove her stereotype wrong, and she worked hard to make sure I knew I was nothing more than an exception to the standard-issue “Army Wife”.   

Either way, I enjoyed the two years I lived across the street from her.  She was the kind of spouse that would come and check on you the day after “deployment send off”, and that in itself was a compassionate comfort I don’t remember getting when I lived outside the military community.  She also happened to be the kind of neighbor that would walk right into your house and plop down on the couch without an invite!  Not everyone would consider that an endearing quality, but I did.  It comforted me that someone considered me “familiar”.  

Being a Military Spouse means putting down quick roots.  We don’t necessarily have time to “know” a person before we find ourselves in a situation where we rely on them like family.    But much like our biological family, we don’t choose them, they simply “happen”.  It is up to us to decide whether we will endure their shortcomings in order to embrace the gift God has given to us in them…..or slam the door in their face.     

No one is perfect, and likewise, no one can singly fill the hole our deployed spouse has left.  But, without community, deployment can be like treading water in lead ankle weights.  Be wise in choosing friends; you cannot confide in everyone, nor can one person watch all four of your kiddos at the drop of a hat.  Cut others some slack.  Enjoy them for whom and what they are in this season of your life, making sure to give people permission to blow it now and then.  Hey!  After all, we are all doing our best to just make it through!

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One Response to ““I HATE Army Wives…”, She Said”

  1. Jill S. Bozeman October 26, 2011 at 5:07 pm #

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